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    September 29

    让我们为世界和平祈祷

    刚上网便有这样的文字、这样的画面、这样的歌声.......

    转载于此(感谢“北方憨哥在北美”),让我们想想,我们还能再为这个世界做点什么??

    文学城"北方憨哥在北美"的博客:裸女哭喊童声振颤 和谐世界还有多远?

    看看下面这些图片,听听童声“TELL ME WHY”,或许你的内心会有一种振颤。原本应该美丽动人的世界,原本应该和谐共生的人类,缘何一直恐怖战争不断,兄弟自我相残?缘何报复反报复,仇恨加仇恨,没了没完?缘何贫富悬殊,富者挥金如土,穷者难挡饥寒?缘何你争我斗,尔虞我诈,抢夺资源;政治家倡导的和谐社会、和谐世界,什么时候才能够实现?

    当今的世界,危机四伏,战火不断。联合国大会,天天激辩;核武危机,时隐时现;台海风云,瞬息万变。中东的石油,在燃烧;东海的油田,在暗战;非洲的贫穷,在继续;恐怖的袭击,还不断。军火的数量,在增加;军演的规模,在扩展;世界的资源,在摧残;自然的灾难,在频现。人类赖以生存的地球,由于我们无知和误判,时刻存在着危险。

    为什么在这个世界上,我们看不到真正的和平与安宁?为什么有那么多的人在哭泣,在挣扎,在死亡的黑暗中徘徊却无法得到救赎?人类,我们这个所谓的万物之灵,难道真的要等到毁灭的那一天,才会明白和平和谐的真正内涵吗?那时,我们的眼泪又流给谁看,又还有谁可以看?期待这个世界,早日没有贫困,没有饥饿,没有恐怖,没有仇恨,没有报复,没有战争,没有罪恶,和和睦睦,平平安安,我们期待着,不会太遥远。

    1,被燃烧弹烧伤,哭喊着逃命的裸体女孩:这震撼的画面,我们忘记了吗?


    2,有战争就会有士兵的伤亡:多少士兵的生命,丢失在异国他乡


    3,越战纪念墙:每天这里的人们,川流不息,人来人往


    4,今天的伊拉克:战争和恐怖袭击给平民带来了巨大伤亡


    5,男儿有泪不轻弹:不是战争和恐怖,他怎会如此这般


    6,伊拉克战争的创伤:他还是个孩子,他还有未来的梦想


    7,战俘营悲情一幕:战俘在安慰自己的儿子


    8,驻伊美军遭遇恐怖袭击,士兵伤亡数字每天在增加


    9,让这位无奈的士兵的枪口,永远指向天空


    10,与火共舞:伊拉克南部城市巴士拉,一名身上着火的士兵试图跳下熊熊燃烧的坦克


    11,阿富汗:美军伤病员在撤离山部战区


    12,巴格达:士兵在对平民住家搜查,妇女儿童在等待搜查的结果


    13,人心都是肉长的:伊拉克北部城市摩苏尔,美军士兵救护在汽车炸弹袭击中受伤的儿童


    14,爸爸要走了:美国加州安大略,8岁的女儿送父亲出征


    15,爸爸回来了:1岁男童望着覆盖国旗的棺材,那里面躺着他阵亡的父亲


    16,伤痛:加州潘德尔顿军营,抚摸着在自杀炸弹袭击中丧生战友的标记牌,伤心落泪


    17,欢迎归来:加州佛瑞斯诺军机停机坪,她带着两个孩子迎接丈夫的归来


    18,贝鲁特南郊:一人独行在被摧毁的居民区


    19巴勒斯坦::发生在难民营的恐怖袭击


    20,加沙妇女:为死亡的丈夫而哭泣


    21,车臣:敞露的战争的伤口


    22,母亲的伤痛:非洲,战乱和饥饿,天天在发生


    23,童子兵:从小埋下仇恨的种子和残酷的心灵,何时才能重生


    24,多灾多难的非洲:塞拉里昂的儿童,靠捡垃圾为生


    25,尼日尔饥荒:一个严重营养不良的婴儿,躺在无国界医生组织开设的救济中心的地上


    26,走在严寒中:德黑兰阿扎地广场,一位妇女走在风雪中。愿伊朗核危机,早日走过寒冬


      

    歌词大意:在梦里,我们唱着那一首献给所有男孩女孩为了爱的歌,天空湛蓝,大地草绿,笑声是全世界唯一通用的语言。但当我惊醒,我看到的是饿殍遍地, 告诉我为什么(为什么?)因为是上天注定的吗?告诉为什么(为什么?)是否只是因为我没有察觉,告诉我为什么(为什么?)我不明白,当我们面对诸多祈求时,我们只会袖手旁观,告诉我为什么?

    每一天,我扪心自问,如何努力才能成为一个男子汉,难道非要无休止得忍受和争斗,来向世人证明自己吗?这就是我漫长的生命吗?在炮火横行的世界中慢慢消逝?告诉我为什么(为什么?)这是上天注定的吗?告诉我为什么(为什么?)是否只是因为我没有察觉,告诉我为什么(为什么?)我不明白,为什么当我们面对诸多祈求时,我们只会袖手旁观,告诉我为什么(告诉我为什么?)告诉我为什么(告诉我为什么?)告诉我为什么(告诉我为什么?)快告诉我,告诉我为什么,世界必须是这样的么?告诉我为什么,是否只是因为我没有察觉,告诉我为什么,我不明白,为什么当我们面对诸多祈求时,我们只会袖手旁观!

    告诉我为什么!(为什么物种在灭绝?)告诉我为什么!(为什么枪炮要开火?)告诉我为什么!(为什么我们从不知悔改?)有没有人能告诉我们为什么森林被付之一炬?(为什么我们只是装作慷慨)!告诉我为什么(为什么我们纵容旁观!)告诉我为什么!(为什么海豚要哀鸣!)有没有人能告诉我,为什么海洋被夺去蓝色?大地被黑色污染!(为什么不能人人平等!)告诉我为什么!(为什么我们只会抱怨!)告诉我为什么,(为什么永远没用尽头!)有没有人能告诉我,为什么做不成朋友!为什么(我们视而不见?)为什么(我们要享受贪婪?)为什么(我们要为土地而战?)有没有人能告诉我为什么,我们根本就不明白这到底是为了什么!告诉我为什么!为什么!!!

    (注:图片和视频来自网络,本贴除了期盼世界和平、和谐的良好愿望,没有任何不良企图,谢谢你的阅读、收听、收看,也希望您有所理性的思考和心灵的振颤)

     
     
    由北方憨哥在北美张贴
    September 28

    祭先师-孔子

          9月28日,祭我们的先师----孔子
        
         向着我的祖国、我的家乡行叩头大礼。
     
         去年7月回国休假时,我们一家祖孙三代一同回到老家山东,首先到孔子故里曲阜拜谒了先师。
     
          于丹说:让我们在圣贤的光芒下学习成长。
          
     
          中新网9月28日电 “同祭先师,共享和谐”,2007年祭孔大典今天上午在孔子故里曲阜举行,“国人不可不知的五句《论语》经典”征集活动结果也同时公布。

      为迎接2008年在北京举行的第29届夏季奥运会,充分体现人文奥运的理念和精神,将中国古老的传统文化与奥运会全民参与有机结合,国际孔子文化节组委会、国际儒学联合会、北京奥运会合作网站央视国际和搜狐网等机构,共同推出了“国人不可不知的五句《论语》经典”征集活动,邀请10位国内外著名儒学专家遴选出20句《论语》经典,作为投票基本范围。

      经过近三个月的网络投票活动,最终选出了5句最能体现孔子思想精华的经典名句,推荐给北京奥组委,作为2008北京奥运会的迎宾语,以体现北京奥运会人文奥运的理念,表达文明古国、礼仪之邦的人民对四海宾朋的热情欢迎。

      这5句话分别是:

      有朋自远方来,不亦乐乎;

      四海之内皆兄弟也;

      己所不欲,勿施于人;

      德不孤,必有邻;

      礼之用,和为贵。

     
    September 25

    祝福大家中秋快乐

    今天是农历八月十五,祝福我的亲人、祝福我的朋友、祝福大家中秋快乐。
     
    遥望家乡我心三愿:
       一愿亲情温暖心田
       二愿平安长驻人间
       三愿健康相伴永久
     
     
    September 15

    祝步入花季的女儿十六岁生日快乐

    我送女儿十六支玫瑰                       

     

    红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰

     

     

    915日,是女儿三妹16周岁生日,我的宝贝女儿现在是个真正的花季少女了。我从心里笑到脸上,内心充满一个做母亲的愉悦与幸福。16年来我第一次想好好给好为女儿过一次生日,为女儿,也是为女儿的妈妈。


    亲爱的女儿:祝你生日快乐 !每一次你的生日就是一个收获的秋。妈妈收获与你一同成长的快乐、满足、喜悦;每一次你的生日都是一个比春更绚烂的秋,妈妈与你一同沐浴在秋的金光中将所有成长中的艰辛、失落、痛苦全都抛得远远的……


    回想十六年来,女儿成长的点点滴滴都让我这个做妈妈的感动,兴奋、鼓舞,女儿是我一生唯一的成就、唯一的作品。女儿一路走来,给了我很多教育、启发,让我不断前行,与女儿一同成长。我们是朋友,我们是最好的朋友。

     

    回想十六年来,女儿的无数个“第一次”被我记录在你的成长录中,你从一个天真、羞涩、胆怯的小姑娘成长为今天这样成熟、开朗、幽默的花季少女。你读书时很安静、玩耍时专注、弹钢琴时投入、吹长笛时享受,你与小猫玩时显少女天性、你笑时又那样毫无顾忌仰天大笑直到上不来气,直不起腰……. 女儿长大了,知性、自信而快乐,身为母亲的我兴奋不已。

     

    女儿是母亲的心头肉,是母亲的小棉袄,为女儿吃苦值得。我不求女儿将来能有什么惊天伟业,只盼你一生平安、快乐;我不求女儿对我有任何回报,你一生的平安、快乐就是对妈妈最大的回报。说点私心的话,妈盼望着你长大后送我半打小孙孙。太贪心了,可不能一个也没有,有女儿的感觉真的很好,那是做幸福女人的组成部分。

     

    亲爱的三妹,祝你生日快乐,希望你开心。好好享受青春、好好享受花季。 人生的路很长,有苦有甜、有泪有笑……无论遇到什么你都必须面对,有妈妈与你同在、同担、同乐。

     

    亲爱的女儿,妈妈爱你,亲爱的女儿,妈妈谢谢你。 

    September 12

    让我们学会“开心”

          下了一整天的雨终于停了。
          记得去年的9月11日纽约也在雨,下了一天的雨。
          雨过天晴,阳光将天空映得更加湛蓝、阳光穿过雨润的树叶、阳光为小草上的每颗水珠施了魔法,让它们放出千万种光;阳光用她缕缕金色围绕着房顶的烟囱,当沁人心脾的、潮湿的、芳香的空气吹入你的窗、你的心田是否也能感觉到阳光的质感?你心头的阴霾应该扫去一角了吧?
           让我们学会开心,好好享受生活吧。
          今年的“清明”回国一周,给爸爸扫墓、给妈妈过生日、给自己看医生。
          抽出一个晚上与好朋友们聚聚、聊聊,我发现她们好似都有了变化。在她们的鼓励与介绍下我也去看了精神科专家.......当我擦干眼泪开始服用“百优解”开始至今,五个多月过去了。我真的感觉到阳光重又回到我心中,笑也就由心而出了........
          有电话打进来(打断我的“写路”)  其实很想在这样好的阳光下继续写........   
         
          哈佛的本-沙哈尔先生为大家讲授“幸福课”。你如没时间上网找资料 就先记住“幸福课”的要点好了。这是简化出来的10条小贴士:
          1.遵从你内心的热情。选择对你有意义并且能让你快乐的课,不要只是为了轻松地拿一个A而选课,或选你朋友上的课,或是别人认为你应该上的课。

      2.多和朋友们在一起。不要被日常工作缠身,亲密的人际关系,是你幸福感的信号,最有可能为你带来幸福。

      3.学会失败。成功没有捷径,历史上有成就的人,总是敢于行动,也会经常失败。不要让对失败的恐惧,绊住你尝试新事物的脚步。

      4.接受自己全然为人。失望、烦乱、悲伤是人性的一部分。接纳这些,并把它们当成自然之事,允许自己偶尔的失落和伤感。然后问问自己,能做些什么来让自己感觉好过一点。

      5.简化生活。更多并不总代表更好,好事多了,也不一定有利。你选了太多的课吗?参加了太多的活动吗?应求精而不在多。

      6.有规律地锻炼。体育运动是你生活中最重要的事情之一。每周只要3次,每次只要30分钟,就能大大改善你的身心健康。

      7.睡眠。虽然有时“熬通宵”是不可避免的,但每天7到9小时的睡眠是一笔非常棒的投资。这样,在醒着的时候,你会更有效率、更有创造力,也会更开心。

      8.慷慨。现在,你的钱包里可能没有太多钱,你也没有太多时间。但这并不意味着你无法助人。“给予”和“接受”是一件事的两个面。当我们帮助别人时,我们也在帮助自己;当我们帮助自己时,也是在间接地帮助他人。

      9.勇敢。勇气并不是不恐惧,而是心怀恐惧,仍依然向前。

      10.表达感激。生活中,不要把你的家人、朋友、健康、教育等这一切当成理所当然的。它们都是你回味无穷的礼物。记录他人的点滴恩惠,始终保持感恩之心。每天或至少每周一次,请你把它们记下来。 

       哈佛讲师讲授幸福:我们越来越富有为何仍不开心  
     
            出人意料,去年哈佛最受欢迎的选修课是“幸福课”,听课人数超过了王牌课《经济学导论》。教这门课的是一位名不见经传的年轻讲师,名叫泰勒·本-沙哈尔。

      在一周两次的“幸福课”上,本-沙哈尔没有大讲特讲怎么成功,而是深入浅出地教他的学生,如何更快乐、更充实、更幸福。

      本-沙哈尔自称是一个害羞、内向的人。“在哈佛,我第一次教授积极心理学课时,只有8个学生报名,其中,还有2人中途退课。第二次,我有近400名学生。到了第三次,当学生数目达到850人时,上课更多的是让我感到紧张和不安。特别是当学生的家长、爷爷奶奶和那些媒体的朋友们,开始出现在我课堂上的时侯。”

      本-沙哈尔成了“哈佛红人”。校刊和《波士顿环球报》等多家媒体,报道了积极心理学课在哈佛火爆的情景。

      “幸福课”为何会在哈佛大受欢迎?

      我们越来越富有,可为什么还是不开心呢

      “我曾不快乐了30年。”本-沙哈尔这样说自己。

      他也是哈佛的毕业生,从本科读到博士。在哈佛,作为三名优秀生之一,他曾被派往剑桥进行交换学习。他还是个一流的运动员,在社团活动方面也很活跃。但这些并没有让他感到持久的幸福。他坦言,自己的内心并不快乐。

      “最初,引起我对积极心理学兴趣的是我的经历。我开始意识到,内在的东西比外在的东西,对幸福感更重要。通过研究这门学科,我受益匪浅。我想把我所学的东西和别人一起分享,于是,我决定做一名教师。”

      在本-沙哈尔第二次开设“幸福课”的2004年,哈佛校报上有一篇报道:《学校面临心理健康危机》,标题下的导语说:在过去的一年,绝大多数学生感到过沮丧和消沉。文章引述了一位学校舍区辅导员写给舍区主管的信。

      “我快覆没了。”这位辅导员写道。在他分管的舍区内,有20个学生出现了心理问题。一个学生因为严重焦虑而无法完成学期作业;另一个学生因为精神崩溃而错过三门考试……舍区主管把这封信转给了哈佛校长,并强调该舍区的问题并不是特例。

      一位曾患严重焦虑和情绪紊乱的哈佛毕业生说:大多数哈佛学生还没意识到,即使那些表面看来很积极、很棒的学生,也很有可能正在被心理疾病折磨着,即使你是他最要好的朋友,也未必意识到他有心理问题。

      “在内心深处,我经常觉得自己会窒息或者死去。”这名学生说。她时常不明原由地哭泣,总要把自己关起来才能睡觉。她看过几个心理医生,试过6种药物,休学两个月,来应付自己的心理问题。“我是一个成绩优异的哈佛精神病患者。”她这样描述自己。

      有个名叫玛丽亚的哈佛女生,在宿舍内自杀,年仅19岁。她的室友回忆说:就在自杀前一晚,玛丽亚和班里同学谈论天气时,还表现得十分开心的样子。“她看起来很好。她在听音乐,调子好像还很欢快。”

      哈佛一项持续6个月的调查发现,学生正面临普遍的心理健康危机。调查称:过去的一年中,有80%的哈佛学生,至少有过一次感到非常沮丧、消沉。47%的学生,至少有过一次因为太沮丧而无法正常做事,10%的学生称他们曾经考虑过自杀……

      “我们越来越富有,可为什么还是不开心呢?”这是令许多美国人深感困惑的问题。据统计,在美国,抑郁症的患病率,比起20世纪60年代高出10倍,抑郁症的发病年龄,也从上世纪60年代的29.5岁下降到今天的14.5岁。而许多国家,也正在步美国后尘。1957年,英国有52%的人,表示自己感到非常幸福,而到了2005年,只剩下36%。但在这段时间里,英国国民的平均收入却提高了3倍。

      我们来到这个世上,到底追求什么才是最重要的?

      本-沙哈尔坚定地认为:幸福感是衡量人生的唯一标准,是所有目标的最终目标。

      “人们衡量商业成就时,标准是钱。用钱去评估资产和债务、利润和亏损,所有与钱无关的都不会被考虑进去,金钱是最高的财富。但是我认为,人生与商业一样,也有盈利和亏损。

      “具体地说,在看待自己的生命时,可以把负面情绪当作支出,把正面情绪当作收入。当正面情绪多于负面情绪时,我们在幸福这一‘至高财富’上就盈利了。

      长期的抑郁,可以被看成是一种‘情感破产’。整个社会,也有可能面临这种问题,如果个体的问题不断增长,焦虑和压力的问题越来越多,社会就正在走向幸福的‘大萧条’。”

      一项有关“幸福”的研究表明,人的幸福感主要取决3个因素:“遗传基因、与幸福有关的环境因素以及能够帮助我们获得幸福的行动。而积极心理学,可以帮助人们活得更快乐、更充实。幸福,是可以通过学习和练习获得的。”

      本-沙哈尔说:“我知道它是可行的,因为,它已深深地帮助了我。”

      我们的很多课,都在教学生如何更好地思考、更好地阅读、更好地写作,可是为什么就不该有人教学生更好地生活呢?把艰深的积极心理学学术成果简约化、实用化,教学生懂得自我帮助,这是本-沙哈尔开设“幸福课”的初衷。

      幸福,应该是快乐与意义的结合

      让本-沙哈尔对幸福的理解,发生根本转变的起因,是他早年的一次重要经历。

      16岁那年,在以色列长大的本-沙哈尔,获得了全国壁球赛的冠军。在长达5年的训练中,空虚感如影相伴,他一直觉得生命中缺少了什么。虽为此闷闷不乐,但他仍坚信:无论身体或心理都要坚强,才能最终取胜;而胜利,一定会带来充实感,也能让自己最终幸福。

      终于,本-沙哈尔如愿以偿,夺冠后的他欣喜若狂,和家人、朋友举行了隆重的庆贺。那时,他对自己的理念更加深信不疑:成功可以带来快乐,过去所受的种种苦痛,都是值得的。

      “可就在那天晚上,睡前我坐在床上,试着再回味一下无限的快感。可是突然间,那种胜利的感觉,那种梦想成真的喜悦,所有的快乐,都消失得无影无踪。我的内心,忽然又变得很空虚,只有迷惘和恐惧。泪水涌出,不再是喜极而泣,而是伤心难过。在如此顺意的情况下,尚不能感到幸福的话,那我将到何处,去寻找我人生的幸福?”

      他极力让自己镇定,并告诉自己这只是暂时的神经过敏。但在接下来的日子里,他仍没有找回快乐;相反,内心的空虚感越来越重。慢慢地他发现:胜利,并没为他带来任何幸福,他所依赖的逻辑彻底被打破。“从那时起,我开始对一个问题非常着迷:如何才能得到真正的幸福?”

      本-沙哈尔注意观察周围的人,谁看起来幸福,他就向谁请教。他读有关幸福的书,从亚里士多德到孔子,从古代哲学到现代心理学,从学术研究到自助书籍等等。最后他决定去大学主修哲学和心理学。

      他的幸福观,逐渐清晰起来:幸福,应该是快乐与意义的结合。

      “一个幸福的人,必须有一个明确的、可以带来快乐和意义的目标,然后努力地去追求。真正快乐的人,会在自己觉得有意义的生活方式里,享受它的点点滴滴。”

      本-沙哈尔竟然从汉堡里,总结出了4种人生模式。

      当年,为了准备重要赛事,除了苦练外,他须严格节制饮食。开赛前一个月,只能吃最瘦的肉类,全麦的碳水化合物,以及新鲜蔬菜和水果。他曾暗中发誓,一旦赛事完了,一定要大吃两天“垃圾食品”。比赛一结束,他干的第一件事,就是奔到自己喜爱的汉堡店,一口气买下4只汉堡。当他急不可待地撕开纸包,把汉堡放在嘴边的刹那,却停住了。因为他意识到,上个月,因为健康的饮食,自己体能充沛。如果享受了眼前汉堡的美味,很可能会后悔,并影响自己的健康。望着眼前的汉堡,他突然发现,它们每一种都有自己独特的风味,可以说,代表着4种不同的人生模式。

      第一种汉堡,就是他最先抓起的那只,口味诱人,但却是标准的“垃圾食品”。吃它等于是享受眼前的快乐,但同时也埋下未来的痛苦。用它比喻人生,就是及时享乐,出卖未来幸福的人生,即“享乐主义型”;第二种汉堡,口味很差,里边全是蔬菜和有机食物,吃了可以使人日后更健康,但会吃得很痛苦。牺牲眼前的幸福,为的是追求未来的目标,他称之为“忙碌奔波型”;第三种汉堡,是最糟糕的,既不美味,吃了还会影响日后的健康。与此相似的人,对生活丧失了希望和追求,既不享受眼前的事物,也不对未来抱期许,是“虚无主义型”;会不会还有一种汉堡,又好吃,又健康呢?那就是第四种“幸福型”汉堡。一个幸福的人,是即能享受当下所做的事,又可以获得更美满的未来。

      不幸的是,据本-沙哈尔观察,现实生活中的大部分人,都属于“忙碌奔波型”。

      人们习惯性地去关注下一个目标,而常常忽略了眼前的事情

      本-沙哈尔经常讲“蒂姆的故事”。在这个故事里,晃动着许多人熟悉的影子。

      蒂姆小时候,是个无忧无虑的孩子。但自打上小学那天起,他忙碌奔波的人生就开始了。父母和老师总告诫他,上学的目的,就是取得好成绩,这样长大后,才能找到好工作。没人告诉他,学校,可以是个获得快乐的地方,学习,可以是件令人开心的事。因为害怕考试考不好,担心作文写错字,蒂姆背负着焦虑和压力。他天天盼望的,就是下课和放学。他的精神寄托就是每年的假期。

      渐渐地,蒂姆接受了大人的价值观。虽然他不喜欢学校,但还是努力学习。成绩好时,父母和老师都夸他,同学们也羡慕他。到高中时,蒂姆已对此深信不疑:牺牲现在,是为了换取未来的幸福;没有痛苦,就不会有收获。当压力大到无法承受时,他安慰自己:一旦上了大学,一切就会变好。

      收到大学录取通知书时,蒂姆激动得落泪。他长长舒了一口气:现在,可以开心地生活了。但没过几天,那熟悉的焦虑又卷土重来。他担心在和大学同学的竞争中,自己不能取胜。如果不能打败他们,自己将来就找不到好工作。

      大学4年,蒂姆依旧奔忙着,极力为自己的履历表增光添彩。他成立学生社团、做义工,参加多种运动项目,小心翼翼地选修课程,但这一切完全不是出于兴趣,而是这些科目,可以保证他获得好成绩。

      大四那年,蒂姆被一家著名的公司录用了。他又一次兴奋地告诉自己,这回终于可以享受生活了。可他很快就感觉到,这份每周需要工作84小时的高薪工作,充满压力。他又说服自己:没关系,这样干,今后的职位才会更稳固,才能更快地升职。当然,他也有开心的时刻,在加薪、拿到奖金或升职时。但这些满足感,很快就消退了。

      经过多年的打拼,蒂姆成了公司合伙人。他曾多么渴望这一天。可是,当这一天真的到来时,他却没觉得多快乐。蒂姆拥有了豪宅、名牌跑车。他的存款一辈子都用不完。

      他被身边的人认定为成功的典型。朋友拿他当偶像,来教育自己的小孩。可是蒂姆呢,由于无法在盲目的追求中找到幸福,他干脆把注意力集中在了眼下,用酗酒、吸毒来麻醉自己。他尽可能延长假期,在阳光下的海滩一呆就是几个钟头,享受着毫无目的的人生,再也不去担心明天的事。起初,他快活极了,但很快,他又感到了厌倦。

      做“忙碌奔波型”并不快乐,做“享乐主义型”也不开心,因为找不到出路,蒂姆决定向命运投降,听天由命。但他的孩子们怎么办呢?他该引导他们过怎样的一种人生呢?蒂姆为此深感痛苦。

      为什么当今社会有那么多“忙碌奔波型”的人呢?本-沙哈尔这样解释:因为人们常常被“幸福的假象”所蒙蔽。

      我们所处的社会环境和文化背景是这样的:假如孩子成绩全优,家长就会给奖励;如果员工工作出色,老板就会发给奖金。人们习惯性地去关注下一个目标,而常常忽略了眼前的事情,最后,导致终生的盲目追求。

      然而一旦目标达成后,人们常把放松的心情,解释为幸福。好像事情越难做,成功后的幸福感就越强。不可否认,这种解脱,让我们感到真实的快乐,但它绝不等同于“幸福”。它只是“幸福的假象”。

      这就好比一个人头痛好了之后,他会为头不痛而高兴,这是由于这种喜悦,来自于痛苦的前因。“忙碌奔波型”的人,错误地认为成功就是幸福,坚信目标实现后的放松和解脱,就是幸福。因此,他们不停地从一个目标奔向另一个目标。

      在本-沙哈尔看来,寻找真正能让自己快乐而有意义的目标,才是获得幸福的关键。

      他们把物质与财富,放在了快乐和意义之上

      在课堂上,本-沙哈尔不断地向听讲者发问:

      我们可以不停地追问“为什么”,来反思自己所追求的东西:可以是大房子、升职或任何其他的目标。看看要问多少个“为什么”,才能落到“幸福”的追求上?问问自己,我做的事情,对我有意义吗?它们给我带来了乐趣吗?我的内心,是否鼓励我去做不同的尝试?是不是在提醒我,需要彻底改变目前的生活?

      本-沙哈尔的哲学老师在他毕业时,给了他一点忠告:“生命很短暂,在选择道路前,先确定自己能做的事。其中,做那些你想做的。然后再细化,找出你真正想做的。最后,对于那些真正、真正想做的事,付诸行动。”

      本-沙哈尔也这样教他的学生,如何寻找能发挥自己优势和热情的工作。

      用以下3个关键问题,先来问问自己:一,什么带给我意义?二,什么带给我快乐?三,我的优势是什么?并且要注意顺序。然后看一下答案,找出这其中的交集点,那个工作,就是最能使你感到幸福的工作了。

      10多年前,本-沙哈尔遇到过一个年轻人。他是一名律师,在纽约一家知名公司上班,并即将成为合伙人。坐在他的高级公寓里,中央公园的美景一览无余。年轻人非常努力地工作,一周至少干60个小时。早上,他挣扎着起床,把自己拖到办公室,与客户和同事的会议、法律报告与合约事项,占据了他的每一天。当本-沙哈尔问他,在一个理想世界里还想做什么时,这名律师说,最想去一家画廊工作。

      “难道说,现实世界里找不到画廊的工作吗?”年轻人说不是的。但如果在画廊工作,收入会少许多,生活水平也会下降。他虽对律师楼很反感,但觉得没其他选择。

      因为被一个不喜欢的工作所捆绑,所以他每天并不开心。在美国,有50%的人对自己的工作不甚满意。但本-沙哈尔认为,这些人之所以不开心,并不是因为他们别无选择,而是他们的决定,让他们不开心。因为他们把物质与财富,放在了快乐和意义之上。

      “金钱和幸福,都是生存的必需品,并非互相排斥。”他说。

      他进一步说,通常在越感兴趣的事情里,人就越能发挥自己的天赋,越能做得持久。人一旦有了热情,不但动机坚定,连做事效率也会提高。举例讲,一个热爱学习的学生,可以在学习中享受创造的愉悦,而这快乐的成果,还可以帮他取得好成绩,助其获得未来的幸福。在亲密关系中也一样,两个人共享着爱情的美好,并促进彼此的成长和发展。

      许多研究表明,一个幸福的人,在生活的各个层面上都会很成功,包括婚姻、友谊、收入、工作表现以及健康。幸福与成功,存在强烈的相互作用,无论是工作上还是感情上的成功,可以带来幸福;而幸福本身,也能带来更多的成功。

      本-沙哈尔总结出这样3种工作境界:赚钱谋生、事业、使命感。

      如果只把工作当成任务和赚钱的手段,就没有任何的个人实现。这样每天去上班,只是必须而不是想去,他所期盼的,除了薪水,就是节假日了;把工作当事业的人,除了注重财富的积累外,还会关注事业的发展,如权力和声望等。他们会关心下一个升职的机会,期望从副教授到终身教授、从教师到校长、从职员到主管、从编辑到总编辑;假如,把工作当成使命,那工作本身就是目标了。薪水、职位固然重要,但他们工作,是因为他们想要做这份工作,动力源自内心。工作是一种恩典,而不是为人打工。他们对工作充满热情,在工作中自我实现,获得充实感。他们的目标,正是自我和谐的目标。

      有一项研究,是针对医院清洁工的。一组人觉得自己的清洁工作很无聊,没啥意义;但另一组人,觉得很有意义,做得很投入。他们与护士、病人以及家属交谈,想办法让医院员工、病人舒适。他们看待工作的角度更高,并在其中找到了意义:我不仅仅是个倒垃圾和洗衣服的人,正是我的工作,让医院正常运转,帮助病人更快地康复。

      就像第二组人,由于在日常工作中找到了使命感,因而从中也得到了更多的意义和快乐,他们与服务对象的关系,也不再是简单的金钱关系。有时候,人们并没有换工作,或改变工作环境,他们所做的,只是赋予了工作本身更多的意义,从中发现乐趣,因而也提升了幸福感。

      可以想像,一个因为家长的压力而学法律的人,是无法在其中找到长久快乐的;相反,如果是基于对法律的热爱而成为律师的话,那他在维护公义的同时,也会觉得很幸福。

      “一个在工作中找到意义与快乐的投资家,一个出于正确动机的商人,绝对要比一个心不在焉的和尚,高尚和有意义得多。”本-沙哈尔笃定地说。

      不同的人,会在不同的事里找到意义。如创业、当义工、抚养子女、行医、甚至是打家具。重要的是,选择目标时,必须确定它符合自己的价值观、爱好,符合自己内心的愿望,而不是为了满足社会标准,或是迎合他人的期待。“真我的呼唤”,就是使命感。

      “那真是神奇的时刻。”本-沙哈尔用一段话,描述这种美妙的体验:我甚至形成了一种迷信,世上确实有看不见的力量在帮我。只要你追随自己的天赋和内心,你就会发现,生命的轨迹原已存在,正期待你的光临,你所经历的,正是你应拥有的生活。当你能够感觉到自己正行走在命运的轨道上,你会发现,周围的人,开始源源不断地带给你新的机会。

      “在追求有意义而又快乐的目标时,我们不再是消磨光阴,而是在让时间,闪闪发光。”

      我也有不快乐的时刻,因为我们是人

      一天,在哈佛的食堂,有个学生走到本-沙哈尔面前,问他:你就是那个教人如何快活的老师吧。学生接着又说:你要小心,我的室友选了你的课,如果哪天我发现你并不快乐,我就要告诉他,别再上你的课。本-沙哈尔看着这个学生,笑着道:没关系,我现在就可以告诉你,我也有不快乐的时刻,因为我们是人。

      “总有人问我,你能帮我消除痛苦吗?可是为什么要用这种态度来对待痛苦。痛苦,是我们的人生经验,会让我们从中学到很多。人生的成长和飞跃,经常发生在你觉得非常痛苦的时刻。”

      漫漫人生,每个人都不可避免地会面临悲伤的时刻,比如经历失败或失去,但我们依然可以活得幸福。事实上,期盼无时无刻的快乐,只会带来失望和不满,并最终导致负面情绪的产生。

      一个幸福的人,也会有情绪上的起伏,但整体上,能保持一种积极的人生态度。他经常被积极的情绪推动着,如欢乐和爱;很少被愤怒或内疚,这些负面情绪所控制。快乐是常态,而痛苦都是小插曲。

      刚开始讲“幸福课”时,本-沙哈尔很想扮演一个无所不知、幽默的人,一个完美的导师,为此,他特地跑到喜剧演员培训班学习。但他不是那种能开激烈的玩笑,做夸张表演的人。无论怎么学,他也达不到想要的戏剧效果。

      想让自己当一个完美的老师,他发现这样即害了自己,也害了学生。“每次都很紧张,怕被发现面具下真实的样子,结果把自己搞得很累。这样不仅害了我自己,也伤害了学生,等于给学生树立了一个‘完人’典型,告诉学生走一条永远走不通、错误的路。打开自己,袒露真实的人性,会唤起学生真实的人性。在学生面前做一个自然的人,反而会更受尊重。”

      本-沙哈尔希望他的学生,学会接受自己,不要忽略自己所拥有的独特性;要摆脱“完美主义”,要“学会失败”。

    September 09

    深切缅怀毛泽东主席

    9月9日
    深切缅怀毛泽东主席
    毛泽东对中国社会、历史的丰功伟绩是什么人也无法抹杀
    毛泽东在中国人民心中的丰碑是任何人也无法撼动的
     
     
    September 08

    祝亲爱的姐姐生日快乐

    9月8日是姐姐的生日
    衷心祝福她 
     
    祝姐姐51周岁生日快乐
     
    红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰
    红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰
    红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰
    红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰
    红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰
    红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰红玫瑰
    生日蛋糕
    September 05

    今天,孩子们终于开学了。

    劳工节让孩子们的暑假又多出一天,今天终于开学了。一大早我们家就乱成团,所有的人都在找东东(看来昨天晚上的准备工作还是没做好),我懒得答理他们,一个人在楼上干自己的事。等楼下终于安静下来后,我才又舒了口气。美国学校的假期太多,这个暑假更是漫长,先是上了一个月的暑期班,后将养子送回国看望他亲娘,我才算是有了真正的清静,最起码每天省了做饭的事。
    这不还没清静两天,又要开始忙活了。我准备再改变一下我家吃饭的方式,可以更美国化一点,这样我就能更解放一下自己了。
    刚在网上看到这样一幅画面,贴上来,为的是........
     
     
     
    震憾、感人:老师用身体当桥送学生过河
     
    在四川凉山的美姑县,洪水冲断了学生们每天过往的小木桥,另外一根木板被冲走了,对于学生来说,水有点深,站水里,不稳。为了把学生安全的送到对岸,老师用身体当桥送学生过河。

        不知你看过后有什么样的感受 

    THE AMERICANIZATION OF CHINA Forget politics.U.S. culture has invaded the mainlandand China will never be the same

    南半球的一群人尖子在忙着开会  APEC

    南半球的另一群人在忙着抗议 反APEC

    该不会只是等着看这群人尖子一同穿上什么来张全家福吧

    过了这几天的热闹,咱们还能记得什么

    其实,每一天都在变化着

    不是一觉醒来什么都变了

    THE AMERICANIZATION OF CHINA

    Forget politics.
    U.S. culture has invaded the mainland
    and China will never be the same

    By Ron Gluckman/Shanghai, Beijing, Qingdao and Hong Kong


    A

    T LUNCHTIME IN SHANGHAI WORKERS rush to a rather nondescript building on Nan Dan Dong Road. There, they enter a wild "stock" market. Buying is fierce; a rugby-style scrum ensues as customers press forward, waving wads of cash. Shanghainese have had a passion for trading since long before the city began experimenting with a bourse in 1986. Yet this frenzy emanates far from the formal stock exchange floor. Here, in southern Shanghai's Sino Building, a bull run of a different sort rages. Eager buyers are chanting orders for the current hot play: Glister, Glister, Glister.

    Don't bother looking in the business pages; Glister is neither trading company nor infrastructure play. It's a toothpaste, and not even a name brand. Nonetheless, customers in Shanghai are investing whopping sums in Glister, at five times the price of Colgate, one of China's best-selling imports.

    Buyers also snap up shampoo and dish soap at equally lofty sums, often 10 times more than comparable local brands. Why the premium? Packaging most likely. With the exception of the Sino Building's name, everything here is wrapped in real or metaphorical red, white and blue. The color scheme is meant to convey the same message as the company name, Amway, short for the American Way.

    Some say the U.S. doesn't sell in China. Don't tell that to Amway. Since starting up on the mainland in earnest in 1995, this direct-sales firm has reported astounding gains, often triple-digit quarterly increases. And the figures are no fluke. Avon, the first direct-sales company in China, has 85,000 agents knocking on doors and yurts in every region except Tibet, racking up sales of $68 million in 1996. A year before, Mary Kay opened its first cosmetics plant outside the U.S. in Hangzhou. Demand has been so keen that the Texas-based firm has already broken ground on a new China factory, 15 times larger than the first one.

    Cosmetics are popular with China's fashion-conscious crowd, but entrepreneurial opportunities are an even bigger draw. Amway, Avon and Mary Kay all sell products through agents, who gladly pay for the training and sales kits. Not everyone in China craves richer hair, but almost everyone wants to get rich. The big draw is the chance to acquire what is now an irresistible commodity: an American association.

    Few brushing with Glister expect anything more than white teeth. Yet some will soon be rolling in the pink. Mary Kay plans to award its first "career car" as a bonus to its top China sales agent. It won't be a Cadillac, like those given to Mary Kay's American beauty moguls, but a livid-pink mainland-made Volkswagen Santana. To those who say the American Dream is dead, Cecilia Yang, Mary Kay's vice president for sales and marketing in China, points with a smile to single mom Gu Mei, 32, a Mary Kay "beauty consultant" who earns over $8,500 per month. But the attraction is even bigger than money, says James Watson, anthropology professor at Harvard University, who has been visiting China since the end of the Cultural Revolution. "The Chinese want the American lifestyle, a modern lifestyle, the way they think Americans live."

    And why not? After a half century of isolation under the Communist Party, the Chinese are desperate to catch up. "Chinese, young and old, are tired of political movements," says a Western correspondent in Beijing. The American Dream may be frayed at the edges, he adds, but Chinese still want the amenities associated with it: a car, a house filled with appliances, in short, the good life. "America represents an ideal in China," says King Lai, CEO of Saatchi & Saatchi Advertising China. "For the Chinese, it's the lifestyle that they aspire to, the spirit of America."

    They certainly see enough of it. Mainland billboards, store fronts and television commercials all extol the American mystique, from the macho Marlboro cowboy to the slam dunking of Nike's "Flyer Qiao Dan," known elsewhere as basketball star Michael Jordan. His Airness actually outranked Mao in one recent mainland popularity survey.

    Beijing's political bosses must be blistering, as this infatuation counters party directives still on the books designed to curb Western decadence. The tirades are hardly new; they have been part of the political ping-pong between the world's superpowers since the days when China anxiously awaited each annual U.S. decision on Most-Favored-Nation trading status. Once the World Cup of Confrontation, America's MFN debate raged again this year, although at a less-fevered pitch than after Tiananmen. But the real debate has shifted to the sidelines, where world opinion is constantly being molded in the tug of war between the superpowers.

    In one prominent case this year, the publication of The Coming Conflict with China, by Richard Bernstein and Ross Munro, set off a Sino-American kerfuffle. The two Western journalists, who worked in Beijing in the 1980s, depict China's emergence in menacing tones that plays well to paranoid Western ears. The Chinese fought back with Behind the Demonization of China, a mainland blockbuster by Xinhua reporter Li Xiguang, who spent six months at The Washington Post. His book details an alleged campaign among American media to muddy China's image.

    The mutual sniping is part of the growing pains in maturing U.S.-China relations. For Beijing, though, great face is at stake as it seeks to gain equal footing with the U.S. Perhaps that helps explain the vitriol of recent campaigns against consumerism, which, to Beijing's chagrin, have had little impact on the masses. Beijing has had much greater success using politics as a wedge in negotiations over airliner purchases and auto plants, as Boeing and General Motors can attest. This is a remarkable gauge of how much the mainland has changed over the last decade: Beijing is more capable of bullying concessions from foreign firms than reining in consumerism sweeping its once-constrained and centrally controlled state.

    The irony must irk even more; it is Uncle Sam who is driving much of this consumerism. "Despite what Beijing says, the Chinese can't get enough of Americana," a U.S. businessman based in Shanghai says. "It's created a real bizarre schism. The government may paint a picture of America as a devil country, but the average Chinese looks at America with total fascination."

    To be sure, there remains a lot of anti-American resentment among older people, Communist Party stalwarts and some intellectuals, particularly because of the often patronizing U.S. rhetoric toward China. But even among the latter group, feelings are mixed. Intellectuals may despise America's pop culture while appreciating its academic freedoms, legal traditions and constitution. And the negative or suspicious anti-U.S. currents are increasingly being engulfed by a rising tide of Americaphilia. This is particularly true among Chinese urban youth, hailed by advertising studies as "the Lucky Generation." Growing up in a new era of openness, they have known no natural hardships or government campaigns of repression.

    This generation's appetite for fashionable products is matched by its growing earning potential. You see members of the Lucky Generation parading the latest fashions nightly at lively discos like the "New York, New York" club in Shanghai. "I come here most nights," says Willy, a 20-something trendoid dressed, like his fellow Chinese buddies, in designer black. "We like to dance and to party," he says. "We mainly like the American style."

    In the coastal city of Qingdao, spray-painted graffiti makes the Ocean Disco appear more like a New York subway station than a dance hall. At least, that's the impression until you take a closer look. The walls are neatly marked with inane expressions like "toy," "fish" and "pencil." As I jot down the juvenilia, a giggling Chinese girl comes past and points. "I love it," she says. "It's cool."

    Cool or not, and government directives aside, middle- and upper-class Chinese kids are tuned to the same MTV-style wavelength as the rest of the world. But the real concern to the party cadres is this certainty: the Lucky Generation isn't alone, it is only a beat or two ahead of the rest of the nation.

    China's main cities are already under siege. Kids munch Big Macs at over 130 McDonald's, content in the gaze not of Mao but "Good Uncle," a.k.a. Ronald McDonald. China's yuppies do the same at three Hard Rock Cafes, inundated by memorabilia and the music of once-banned Western rock idols. They dine at TGIF and eat dessert at TCBY. The former is an acronym for what would once have been an aberration in the Communist Party, Thank God It's Friday; the latter is a frozen yogurt franchise based in U.S. President Bill Clinton's stomping ground of Little Rock, Arkansas. Soon residents of Boston and Beijing will have this in common: takeaway from Boston Chicken or Domino's Pizza. Chinese urbanites can already buy anything from stereo systems to snack foods at U.S. mega-stores Wal-Mart and Pricesmart (known in the U.S. as Price Club).

    China's American embrace is most fervent at the cathedral to Yankee culture, the cinema. Beijing still allows distribution of a handful of imported flicks each year, but the ration is no longer a forced diet of scratchy Hollywood flops. These days Chinese eschew the patriotic reels still churned out by government filmmakers for the latest Sylvester Stallone and Tom Cruise blockbusters, which laud Western excesses.

    Mainland TV, undergoing its own revolution, offers another shock to seasoned sinologists. Thanks partly to satellite TV, Chinese soaps and historical serials now compete against programs that would have seemed unimaginable only a few years ago: episodes of Baywatch and The X-Files. Soon, millions of mainland kids will be watching Da Niao, Big Bird's Chinese cousin, in Zhima Jie, a Shanghai version of Sesame Street.

    This summer will see the debut of The Little Rascals, a 1950s U.S. comedy series. Dubbed in Mandarin, 54 episodes will blanket airwaves, twice daily on 250 cable and regional stations, according to Tom Bus, general manager of Sino Universal International in Shanghai. Quotas also restrict foreign content on TV, otherwise there would be no end to U.S. programming. "If there was no regulation, we could easily fill 1 million hours nationwide," Bus says. Little Rascals comes from King World International, which also distributes such all-American fare as Wheel of Fortune, The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Geraldo Rivera Show. Bus has no compunction about peddling this type of candy-for-the-brain programming. "Game shows would be hits here," he says. "The Chinese love gambling and games."

    Some can't get too much of a good thing, as is amply demonstrated at the American Dream Park, the ultimate celebration of Americana in China. Opened last fall on 28 hectares in the outskirts of Shanghai, the American-equipped amusement park replicates stereotypical U.S. attractions to such a degree that Disneyland seems international in comparison. Among the offerings: an American Heritage area, the ubiquitous Wild West town -- complete with cowboys and Indians -- and a contemporary section dubbed USA Today.

    "The American image is what people in China want," says Robert Lamb, a U.S. amusement-park expert who oversaw the opening of the $120 million theme park; others are planned for Chengdu, Wuhan, Beijing and Guangzhou. "Just look at the kids in China. They see American films, have American haircuts, wear blue jeans," Lamb adds. "America sells."

    Of course, this is hardly new, or unique to China. Youth everywhere yearn for what is called American culture, but is really an amalgamation of global youth culture, taking root wherever media is sophisticated and free enough to spread its seeds. Levis, Madonna, Marlboro cigarettes, cool cars and loud rock music are components, but the culture itself is a global milkshake. Perhaps its consumption seems outrageous in China because of the past isolation or ongoing restrictions. But the truly remarkable thing is the speed of transformation, a breathtaking revolution in possibility, from hopelessness to choice, all in a matter of years. After all, it's only been a decade since the first Kentucky Fried Chicken opened in Beijing.

    This is not what Deng Xiaoping had in mind when he spoke of socialism with Chinese characteristics. Retired U.S. general Colin Powell summed it up best when, commenting on the growth of home shopping on mainland TV, he issued this wry war cry: "There is no way communism can compete with a salad shooter for $9.95." (Salad shooters are much-derided icons of Americana: plastic gadgets that cut up salad fixings.)

    No wonder the big cities of the Middle Kingdom increasingly resemble the Midwest. True, there is no Saturday wrestling -- yet -- but bowling is all the rage and basketball is represented by two professional leagues in cooperation with corporate sponsors like Nike, sports equipment maker Spalding and Budweiser.

    Though soccer is the most popular sport in China, basketball is the fastest-growing. Not surprisingly, sports-gear manufacturers are focusing on the 200 million who already play the game, while sports-shoe makers are lustily eyeing the hoopsters' 400 million growing feet. Meanwhile, Shanghai officials have considered a ban on new bowling alleys. The city had six lanes in 1980; by the end of 1996 there were almost 1,500. China now accounts for 30%-40% of bowling manufacturer Brunswick's trade, says the company's Asia-Pacific marketing director Andrew Shipman. "The American connection is a big part of our business," he says. "We promote that. We see it as a big advantage."

    Not all American companies agree with the U.S.-is-best thesis. In fact, many shy away from highlighting any U.S. association. Both Nike and Coca-Cola present themselves as global, rather than U.S., brands. "Overt American advertising is a recipe for disaster," warns Soames Hines, managing director of advertising agency J. Walter Thompson in Shanghai. "Being American carries baggage, particularly in places like Beijing. It's much better to position yourself as an international brand." Or is it? "American does stand out in some areas," says Michael McCune, Shanghai partner of distribution specialists China Link, "particularly wherever the ad campaign has to do with attitude, the brash American style."

    Whatever angle they play up, advertising is a Chinese boom industry. Between 1990 and 1994, ad spending doubled each year. By 2000, ad spending should top $22 billion -- a tenfold increase over 1994 -- according to American ad agency J. Walter Thompson. All firms advertise, of course, but few do so with the fervor of the Americans. Seven of China's Top 10 advertisers belong to U.S. consumer-products giant Procter and Gamble. Such spending is typical, as many established U.S. firms see China not only as a vast market but as a place where they can recreate their bygone glory days. To Americans, Big Macs are just, well, Big Macs. But in China, a near identical double burger with cheese and "special sauce" is welcomed today as an innovation. Even better for McDonald's, it and like-minded companies can inject new life into its old jingles and ad campaigns. Scores of American products are being reborn and repackaged for mass mainland consumption.

    To get a sense of the marketing mania, stroll up Shanghai's Nanjing Lu, the major shopping street in China. Looking eastward, toward the Bund, the city's financial hub, Mao would be bemused; the view is all red. Not the communist colors, but the corporate cachet of Coke. For block after block, streets, bus stands and overhead banners all pledge allegiance to America's -- and China's -- No. 1 cola. "From some angles," chuckles a French trader, "it looks like Coke is sponsoring Shanghai."

    Yet turn the corner and the view becomes more startling. You leave Coke street and step into a district swirling with white and green; ads for Salem cigarettes. Turn again, and waltz down an avenue enveloped by red, white and blue Pepsi ads. "Marketing has no sophistication, no innovation," complains a Shanghai consultant. "It's all muscle."

    There is a precedent; America in the 1950s and 1960s, when manufacturers pushed brand names heavily through TV, and shaped store inventories with big promotions and aggressive control of regional distribution channels. This was the golden age for brand marketing in America. Many are expecting a repeat in modern China, which suffers from similarly underdeveloped distribution lines and a rapidly expanding consumer base. "Right now, American investment isn't moving in spurts, it's a flood," says an analyst in Shanghai, where an American Chamber formed in 1991 with 110 members. It's due to break the 1,000 level any day now. More than half of the top 100 U.S. companies have some presence in China.

    Many merely replicate their winning formulas on the mainland -- to mixed results. One company that prides itself on ignoring cultural variations is Interwood Marketing, the TV sales firm with the goofy products, such as auto-massage beds, miracle stain removers and instant button-repair devices. Interwood, which is actually based in Toronto, uses the same commercials the world over: loud voice-overs shouting the attributes of the products while American actors wince and smile, followed by the price and the inevitable, 'Operators are standing by.' "Our commercials look exactly the same in China as in the West," boasts Peter Lee, general manager of Interwood's Hong Kong operation. "That's the magic of marketing. You take a TV commercial that works, and just change the language, price and ordering information." People are people, he adds. "Their skin might be different, but marketing is the same."

    China's exposure to Interwood is extracting a hefty toll. A glue-less fastener sells in China at twice the Hong Kong price, which is considerably higher than in the West. Interwood's trademark stomach-muscle builder, the ab-shaper, is $120 in China -- over a month's average wage. But the fact that the ab-shaper is expensive and difficult to acquire may only increase its allure to China's elite. A desire for such products will spur the spread of debt, things like lay-away plans and, of course, credit cards, already a booming business.

    Many Chinese see in this cycle of consumption a devious plot. "The American image has penetrated into China, especially with the young," says Zhu Wenhui, a research associate at Hong Kong Polytechnic University's China Business Center. The influence is not just from foreign films and mass media. "We often use American books in Chinese schools and many of our teachers are educated in the U.S.; the teachers who go to the U.S. to study teach what they have learned," Lee says. "It's both an accident and a plan, this exposure to the American Way. This is all part of selling the American Way in the larger picture. It's like a weapon."

    Harvard Professor Watson retorts: "Who's to say it's American culture? Why not Japanese culture or Chinese culture? Kids grow up in China and recognize Ronald McDonald as part of Chinese culture." With the help of researchers in Tokyo, Beijing, Seoul and Taipei, Watson completed a study of the globalization of pop culture and consumerism. Using McDonald's as a model, his conclusions are to be published as a book, Golden Arches East; McDonald's in East Asia. "For families in China, McDonald's is just part of the world experience, part of the internet and all the rest of the modern world," he says. "It's maybe not for the older generation, but there is a feeling that if their child can eat at McDonald's then he can go out in the world and succeed."

    That sense of connection can be seen in the Sino Building at lunchtime, where mobs push up to cashiers, desperate to invest not necessarily in whiter teeth, but a brighter future. Lured by the latest get-rich scheme, some get instead a costly dose of reality. "I'm resigning," says Xie Lili, a part-time typist, pushing a box of unused Amway products across the counter. "I've tried to sell these things to my friends and colleagues, but they say they're too expensive. I've tried for 11 months." Xie returns her investment pack for a full refund of $86, shaking her head in amazement at another U.S. innovation, the money-back guarantee.

    For Zhu Weijin, selling Amway products has also been a struggle. But in flogging shampoo and toothpaste, he sees a chance to escape his dreary daytime job. "My goal is to do this full time," he says, surrounded by red-white-and-blue boxes. At the Amway office, they suggest the American Dream, but Zhu finds nothing foreign in what he feels. "I want to be my own boss," he says proudly. "This is my dream."

     


    Ron Gluckman is an American journalist who has been based in Hong Kong for six years. For some of his other stories from China, please click on the Jews of Shanghai, Chinese wineries, Dream Park, Stuck inside a Shanghai Harmonica Factory and Old China Hands.

    The photos on this page are by Graham Uden, a British photographer in Hong Kong who often works with Ron Gluckman. For other samples of Uden's work, see Vietnam War Tourism

    September 03

    铿铿三人西行记-----沉浸在美好回忆中

    这几天想干的事只有一件就是整理照片,一张张照片让人沉醉。
    大自然的美,让你震憾,给你的心灵开一扇窗 ,放飞你的心情。
    大自然的美,让人忘我,给你的思想插上翅膀,任你的心界无垠。
     
    通过这次旅行,美国的50个州我已经到过41个了,我会好好计划最后的9个州。
     
    今天是美国的劳工节,女儿为我们做了早饭,一会我们全家准备到公园去享受阳光。
     
    September 01

    祝福你张弛

    接到张弛爸爸的电话,得知张弛这个周末就要去大学报到了。
     
    又一个小姑娘长大了,许是我们真的变老了。
     
    为她祝福吧:新的开始、新的生活、新的环境、新的朋友、新的感受.......
     
    这世上最感人、最朴素、最无私、最深情的莫过于父母的舔犊之情了。
     
    张弛会让爸爸、妈妈骄傲的。
     

    铿铿三人西行记----回味更精彩

     
    结束了长达7342英里的、横跨美国大陆三个时区的旅行后,我们都感觉很累。老公第二天去上班,我和女儿睡到日上三竿,要不是小猫丁丁分别在我们各自在门外叫个不停,我们兴许要睡不醒了。
    这次我们还收获了近14个GB的照片(不能用张来计算了),回味也一样精彩,我会一点点享受。
    我们这一路还收集了一大箱 图片、文字资料和纪念卡等。
     
    我准备按几种方式来整理照片:
    按时间顺序:以我们这十七天的旅行为轴
    按专题:人文、风情、风景、风趣、动物、植物等
     
    我想这些照片会让我一生都回味无穷的
    我们已经开始计划下一次旅行,下一次我们想请77岁的三妹姥姥、52岁的三妹姨妈一同加入我们的队伍。
    我们期待着
                                        
     

    怀念开学的日子

    现在已经是北京时间的9月1日了
    这一天对我来说真的是很难忘的
    在这一天到来的前一个晚上,爸爸总会例行地为我和姐姐开个家庭会议,为要到来的新学年提出要求、希望
    爸爸总会拿着个牛皮纸本,其实我从没看到过那上面写的是什么(也许是因为爸爸是大人,我还小)
    爸爸每次讲的话不多,其实每次都是十六个字
    “尊敬老师、团结同学、遵守纪律、努力学习”
     
     如今我已经47岁了,爸爸也离开我们9年了
    可每当9月1日来到时,我都会想起爸爸无数次讲起的这十六个字,其实这十六个字我从不敢忘记过;也许我现在真的理解了爸爸的教子之心、也就有了资格来诠释爸爸的教育之道了
     
    在纽约读书的女儿9月5日也要开始新学年了,从去开始我也将爸爸留下的这十六个字讲给她听,我想15岁的女儿应该能听懂了,应该能理解妈妈的心了:这十六个字会让你受益终生的